Post number 800.
its 7am Thursday the 5th of December.
no rant tonight .. however..
My Lovely, My Love .. it drives me crazy insane when you say them words to me. makes my insides happy. you in general make me happy :)
on another note.. how beautiful are the northan lights though
"If I don’t let myself be happy now, then when?
If not now, when?”
Jimmy Eat World - For me this is heaven
this song, these lyrics i think everyone should hear. im mildly debating getting them tattooed somewhere there just so true if u dont let your self be happy now then when will u let it happen?
I think maybe ive spent most of my life believing i dont deserve to be happy that im a bad person, that things that have not been my fault i feel they are. maybe if id just spoke up i wouldnt have the issues i have now .. but what ive come to realize is that as an 8 year old child i didnt no any better i wish i could walk up to 8 year old me and tell her that everything going to be ok that in 14 years time you will let your self be happy that in 14 years time you wont forget your childhood but you will infact stop letting it break you apart everyday, id tell her that on the 1st of december 2013 you will realize that it dose not define you or control you and you sure as hell will no longer let it rule your life but you will in fact let your self be happy because the hole purpose of this rant..if not now then when?
i slept yesterday like i havnt slept in a long time. there is nothing haunting my dreams when im with you, your comforting even when im not awake. Please dont leave me like everyone eles. I no i can be happy without you, i just dont want to be.
my late night rants need to stop i think ha
sleep time :)
so for uni i have to research a bunch of artists (like a bizillian)
I was thinking the other day.. all these people are born in great cities and studied in even more amazing places i thought if someone was to reachers me they would get Bille Hatton born in Salford,Manchester studied at bolton university’ oh dear god why not ‘Billi Hatton Born in New York city studied in paris’?
then i got thinking of people quotes for instance “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”
― Pablo Picasso
mine would be somthing daft like ’ i love the sound of the burn of a cigarette when u take a drag’
all these things i wish to be, wish to do and yet i sit here and plod along in life its 3.16am on a friday morning and sleep will not take me away as i wish it so instead i am forced to the depressing thoughts of life.
today was a good day. tomorrow however will be better.
maybe someone should read this at my funeral.